Bournemouth 6-1 Hull City - Junior Stanislas hits brilliant brace as Cherries thrash Mike Phelan's men

Home fans serenaded new permanent Hull manager Mike Phelan with the chorus of the damned, "You're Getting Sacked In The Morning"

Junior Stanislas scored twice and supplied two assists as Bournemouth chalked up their biggest Premier League win.

But those who had a punt on Hull to go down won't have to wait long to collect their winnings. This wasn't just a performance with relegation written all over it – their fate was trailed in plumes of smoke across the grey Dorset skies.

It took just five minutes for Bournemouth to put up the deck-chair, spread the blanket and unpack the picnic hamper.

Junior Stanislas deserved to score, but his direct free-kick hit the post and the rebound fell to Charlie Daniels, lurking in acres of space by the penalty spot, and the Cherries left-back buried his first goal of the season expertly.

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Charlie Daniel's got Bournemouth off to a great start with his opening goal

Action Images via Reuters / Tony O'Brien

Steve Cook made it two for Bournemouth

But despite Jordan Ibe running them ragged, and Callum Wilson hitting the bar from eight yards, Hull managed to stay in the game and they burgled an undeserved equaliser after 34 minutes – although there was an element of poetic justice about it.

Moments after Steve Cook had got away with wrestling Harry Maguire at a corner, the Cherries centre-back supplied a wicked deflection to Ryan Mason's 20-yard shot to leave Artur Boruc stranded.

Cook soon made amends, however, with a firm header into the corner at the other end to restore Bournemouth's lead.

And on the stroke of half-time, Stanislas extended the home side's advantage from the penalty spot after a crass Robert Snodgrass lunge upended Wilson.

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Bournemouth's Junior Stanislas scores their fourth goal

It was all over, bar the umbrellas in the seaside rain, when Stanislas turned home Adam Smith's low cross 20 minutes into the second half.

The unmarked Wilson headed home Josh King's cross seven minutes from time and sub Dan Gosling got in on the act as home fans serenaded City manager Mike Phelanwith the chorus of the damned, "You're Getting Sacked In The Morning".

Give the man a chance. He only signed his contract earlier this week.

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Dan Gosling celebrates with Harry Arter scoring his sides sixth goal

1. August is cancelled

That opening-day win against champions Leicester seems like a mirage in the desert, and a lifetime away, for Hull now.

It is always a thankless task for the club promoted via the Championship play-offs to stay up - because start shopping in the summer transfer window three weeks later than everyone else, and by the time they wheel the trolley down the aisles, the shelves are bare.

No disrespect, but there is simply not enough firepower in the Tigers' squad. It is a huge ask for Will Keane – five goals in 52 games at five different clubs before he moved to the KC & the Sunshine Band stadium in the summer – to play as a lone striker in the Premier League.

2. You've lost that loving Phelan

Mike Phelan finally signed a contract to the end of the season as Hull's full-time manager this week after holding the fort admirably when Steve Bruce left Humberside.

And one point from a possible 24 is not a complete disaster when you consider the Tigers' fixture list of late – including defeats against Liverpool, Chelsea, Arsenal and Manchester United – has read like a threatening letter.

But Phelan, once Sir Alex Ferguson's trusted lieutenant at Old Trafford, is going to have his work cut out to halt the slide. Hull are game, compact and diligent – but do they have enough quality to stay out of the quicksands? On this evidence, sadly the answer is emphatic – and obvious.

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Hull City manager Mike Phelan suffered a humiliating defeat

3. Quiet, please, Jack's on autopilot

Jack Wilshere had his quietest game for Bournemouth since the Cherries agreed to pay £80,000 a week towards his loan arrangement with Arsenal.

Yet again, the England discard did not last the distance, making way for Dan Gosling with 12 minutes left. And in truth he did not look sharp, nor especially eager in the tackle.

Although he did not give the ball away like Green Shield stamps, he was often laboured in possession, and Wilshere was 'blowing' before the No.32 appeared in red on the fourth official's substitutes board.

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Bournemouth's Jack Wilshere goes over the advertising board

4. Pass the baton

They have never been slouches, but Bournemouth have enough pace up front to form a sprint relay squad.

Callum Wilson, Jordan Ibe, Junior Stanislas and Joshua King – who started on the bench here – could all catch pigeons and they will be a handful for any Premier League defence.

Pace is one of the most precious commodities at any level of football, and these four should ruffle enough feathers to keep the Cherries out of harm's way when winter draws in.

Action Images via Reuters / Tony O'Brien

Bournemouth's Junior Stanislas celebrates scoring their third goal with team mates

Action Images via Reuters / Tony O'Brien

Callum Wilson made it five as he celebrated with Stanislas

5. Pass the bucket

Hull's third kit – a hangover shade of pink, fuchsia, magenta, whatever you want to call it – is the latest example of Premier League clubs allowing their directors' wives to choose playing strips from a catalogue of curtain materials.

Why on earth is the Tigers' so-called 'change' strip all-black when much of their home shirt is, er... black?

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Ryan Mason scored for Hull - but they didn't have much to celebrate in the end

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Hull's joy was shortlived as their poor run of form continues

Too many clubs are getting away with wardrobe malfunctions and asking fans to identify with colours which have nothing to do with their allegiance.

Next time you go on safari in the jungle, look out for the lethal pink-and-white Tigers.

RATINGS

BOURNEMOUTH

Boruc 6 - Little to exert him, could have booked the afternoon off
Smith 7 - High time he appeared on England's radar
Francis 7 - Steadier than the speed limit on a motorway contraflow
Cook 7 - Nice header to make it 2-1 and nearly bagged a second
Daniels 7 - Took his first goal of the season like an accomplished striker
Surman 6 - Steadier than a motorway middle lane hog on the M27
Arter 7 - Great competitor, always at the heart of the battle
Stanislas 8 – MOM Dead-ball expertise and pace to burn, two fabulous assets
Wilshere 5 - Unconvincing in the tackle and yet again didn't last 90 minutes
Ibe 7 - Lots of thrilling, mazy runs, many of them up blind alleys
Wilson 7 - Scored, hit the bar, always a threat, business as usual

Subs: King (Ibe, 61) 7, Gosling (Wilshere, 78) 7, Afobe (Wilson, 85)

HULL CITY

Marshall 4 - Will have to wait until England at Wembley for an easy ride
Elmohamady 3 - All over the shop like two-for-one promotions
Maguire 3 - All over the shop like a store detective
Davies 5 – Even the gallant captain was submerged by chaos around him
Robertson 4 - Booked. Not his finest week for Hull or Scotland
Clucas 4 - Booked. Challenge on Smith was naughtier than Jackie Collins novels
Livermore 4 - Quieter than whispering grass in a silent movie
Snodgrass 4 - Booked. Loses a mark for stupid, reckless lunge to concede penalty
Mason 4 - Got lucky with deflected equaliser from Hull's first shot
Maloney 4 - Lightweight and peripheral but close with one curling shot
Keane 3 - Thankless, barren trawl. Physical presence alone is not enough

Subs: Huddlestone (Maloney, 55) 4, Diomande (Robertson, 63) 4, Meyler (Mason, 78)

Referee: Lee Mason
Attendance: 11,029